Break the cycle of toxic parenting and
heal the inner wounded child
heal the inner wounded child
A 10-week series of therapeutic workshops in a small online group.
Led by Tatjana Simakova
March 1st – May 3rd, 2022
Led by Tatjana Simakova
March 1st – May 3rd, 2022
A toxic family background is perhaps one of the most challenging issues to overcome, and sometimes it is passed on from generation to generation. The belief system and coping skills that we learn as children, primarily from our parents, significantly impact the quality of our adult lives. Our parents hand down their coping skills and beliefs about us and the world around us, and these attitudes have a significant impact on our adult decision-making ability.
For example, if I grew up with a parent who had very high, unreasonable expectations for my performance in life, I would most likely develop the belief that no matter what I do, I am not good enough. As an adult, I will make decisions geared toward living up to that belief—This could work in two ways; I might try to prove to everyone around me that I am good enough, leaving myself open to disappointment and burnout. Despite this, I will still never be able to meet that expectation, which has become my own over time. Alternatively, I will avoid challenging and growth-promoting situations and miss out on a lot of opportunities in my life because I am afraid of failing.
As children, we absorb the beliefs of those closest to us because these messages are implanted in our minds before we can question or reject them. As children, we don’t have the ability to critically assess the situation, and we don’t stop loving our parents for shouting at us or making us feel upset or fearful. We stop loving ourselves. It is vital to notice that I am not talking about unloving parents. I am talking about parents who love their children dearly and only want the best for them but do not know how to give them the best; this is because they themselves had unhealthy childhoods with toxic parents. Unfortunately, another generation of toxic parents is one of the toxic parents’ legacies.
On the other hand, when we become aware of our own toxic patterns, we can take control of our destiny and change our mindset, thus breaking the vicious cycle of toxic parenting. We can rise above it all and parent our inner child in order to parent our own children in more open, loving, and prosperous ways than our difficult childhood experiences provided.
Here are some examples of common beliefs that are ingrained as a result of toxic parenting:
- To be lovable, you must be “good.” – controlling or extremely strict parenting, high expectations, physical punishments or shouting, and so on.
- Anything I do is not good enough. I am not good enough. – unreasonable expectations, constant criticism, name-calling, shaming, physical punishments or shouting, and so on.
- Having an opinion creates issues. It’s easier to remain silent or to agree. – controlling or overbearing parents, the ‘children must be seen but not heard’ rule, mocking the child’s ideas and opinions, physical punishments or shouting, and so on.
- I am insignificant. I’ll never speak up for myself. – favoring one child over another, never taking the child’s side when speaking with teachers or other adults, putting others’ needs ahead of the child’s, neglectful parents, parents with an addiction, ridiculing the child’s ideas and opinions, physical punishments or shouting, and so on.
- I should do what others tell me to do because they know better. – controlling parents, overprotective parents, constant criticism, name calling, putting down, and so on.
- It doesn’t matter what I want. – One child being chosen over their sibling, scapegoating, never taking the child’s side when speaking to teachers or other adults, putting others’ needs ahead of the child’s needs, being forced to play the role of a parent to younger siblings, and being forced to play the role of a parent to the parents.
- I should never show my emotions to others because it is not safe. – physical punishments or yelling, constant criticism, name calling, shaming, ‘feelings are a weakness’ or ‘boys don’t cry’ beliefs, and so on.
- I have no control over my life, the people in it, or what they do to me. – controlling parents, overprotective parents, constant criticism, name calling, put-downs, addictions among family members, abuse and so on.
- If something goes wrong, it is my fault. – controlling parents, overprotective parents, constant criticism, name calling, putting down, physical punishments or shouting, taking a role of a parent for younger siblings, taking a role of a parent for the parents, etc.
- I must please others for them to like me. – controlling parents, overprotective parents, no personal boundaries, high expectations, physical punishments or shouting, and so on.
Of course, there are many more negative beliefs that aren’t listed here. This list could go on forever. Do you recognize yourself in the statements above? Do you want to investigate your own unhealthy belief systems in order to live a happier life and become a better parent? Then this is the course for you.
We can use our awareness of our unhealthy belief systems in two ways. The first one is to repeat what we’ve learned and apply our parents’ toxic beliefs and coping skills in our own lives. The second way is to begin healing our wounded inner child and changing our mindset. I chose the second option and transformed myself into the person I needed in my life when I was younger. I can assist you in becoming that person in order to heal your own wounded inner child and break the toxic cycle of parenting for the sake of your own children. I’m not sure what your changes will look like just yet. But one thing is certain: if you commit to this course and work hard on your inner child, you will notice a positive shift in your mindset. The most important thing is that you are committed to ending the cycle.
This interactive and transformational workshop is for you if:
- You don’t understand why you are always angry with your parents.
- You would like to improve your relationships with your parents.
- You are constantly adjusting to other people’s expectations.
- You have no clear boundaries with other people.
- You frequently exhibit childlike behavior in emotionally charged situations.
- You don’t want to repeat the mistakes of your parents.
- You are ready to make contact between your inner child and your inner adult.
- You want to find simple but effective ways to heal your inner child’s trauma.
- You want to learn how to recognise and reflect on your emotional states.
- You want to change your family scripts and negative beliefs.
- You don’t want to pass the baton of generational trauma to your children.
As a result of the course, you will:
- Get to know your wounded inner child.
- Heal your wounded
- Inner child.
- You will establish a positive relationship between your inner child and your inner adult, which in turn will help you change your mindset.
- You’ll start noticing and correcting negative attitudes and behaviors that are harmful to your children.
- You will discover new sources of vitality, joy, creativity, and love within yourself.
Workshop Program
Week 1: Introduction. How can parents unintentionally pass on the generational trauma baton to their children: setting goals for the course.
Week 2: What is the inner child exactly: discovering your inner child.
Week 3: Examining the parent-child relationship: addressing any resentments you may have toward your mother or father.
Week 4: Defence mechanisms, life scenarios, and how to rewrite them: removing psychological trauma-related blockages in the body.
Week 5: The victim mode and personal boundaries: beginning the inner child healing process.
Week 6: Inner child: working with the inner child’s unmet needs and desires.
Week 7: How our childhood experiences shape our self-perception: investigating good and bad self-beliefs.
Week 8: How our childhood experiences affect our adult relationships: revise your romantic, friendship, work-related, and parent-child relationships.
Week 9: What is next: emotional goal setting.
Week 10: Q&A: Reflecting on the past ten weeks experiences
What Participants Need:
This workshop is a therapeutic, very hands-on course directed at change. To benefit from this workshop, I would advise you to:
- Dedicate 2 hours to live meetings every Tuesday (starting from 1st March).
- Dedicate a couple of hours to homework exercises that you will receive each week. Note: you are not required to complete any exercise in one sitting; you can always return and finish it later if necessary.
- Make sure you are in a safe, quiet place and no one interrupts you while you are engaging in either workshop or with the workbook, so you can fully immerse yourself in the process of healing. Also, turn off or silence your phone’s notifications.
- Don’t forget about small but very important nuances such as access to a power outlet, good Wi-Fi access, pen and colourful pencils or other art materials (optional),and printables that you received as part of this workshop.
How will the workshop be organised?
- Ten 2-hour online workshops in a small group setting.
- During the workshops, I will provide personalised feedback to each participant.
- Homework assignments and exercises that are hands-on and highly effective will be provided.
- The Workbook (in PDF format).
- For ten weeks, I will provide emotional support within the group.
- Support and communication with other course participants through the WhatsApp group.
The workshop series opened my eyes, heart, and mind to the transformative healing and personal growth that can take place when you accept and acknowledge your wounded inner child. This truly transformational workshop has changed my life for the better.
It was a relaxed, open, safe, and growth-promoting workshop. It was really nice to engage through open sharing in the group, despite the participants never meeting each other before the workshop, Tatjana was able to create a safe and trusting environment. I felt very welcome in the space and the workshop has given me more awareness of the adolescent within me as well as the opportunity to work on the relationship with my mom. Thank you very much – it was a success.
To be honest, my wife insisted that I attend this workshop because she thought I would benefit from working on resolving some issues from my childhood (which I didn’t believe I had). But I’m glad I completed the course, even if it wasn’t easy. I was going to just listen and ignore my homework, but something told me to try it, so I did. I quickly realized that I had things to say. Everyone in the group seemed to be honest, which made it very easy for me to opern up about my own pain. Tatjana provided fantastic support and feedback; she was very helpful and understanding. I’m a different person now, happier and more satisfied with myself.
All of our acting out behaviours are the result of our inner child expressing itself in our lives. The course was very informative and interesting to me. It was fascinating to learn how our minds work and why I overreact to certain situations in my life. I enjoyed hearing from other participants because I could relate to them and learned a lot from their stories.
Unfortunately, I missed two workshops, but I was able to catch up thanks to the recordings and Tatjana’s extra attention. Tatjana has a very calm demeanour, and the workshop was delivered in a very professional manner, with a soothing voice.